


You dreamed of me?

by Summer_Storm27



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Doppelganger, Dream-Adam, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-15 12:17:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7222018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Summer_Storm27/pseuds/Summer_Storm27
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ronan Lynch can pull things out of his dreams that he really wish he could have in real life, but sometimes he can't controll what it is.</p><p>or</p><p>Me wondering why I've never read a fanfiction about Ronan dreaming another Adam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Day 1

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fanfiction I've ever wrote and English isn't my first language. But I did my best.
> 
> If there are any mistakes you can always correct me, but please be nice, okay? :)

Day 1

The first thing he mentioned was that there was a second body in his bed even so he fall asleep alone. It was difficult to ignore the body, ‘cause he laid closely pressed to Ronan. His head rested on Ronan’s chest, his dusty brown hair curled on Ronan’s chin, his arms that were covered with bruises wrapped around Ronan’s upper body up to his neck. Hissing Ronan sucked in the cold air of his room. He hoped that he was still dreaming, but at the moment the eyelids of the boy fell open and looked up to him, he couldn’t deny it. He was awake and he had brought something, no, someone out of his dream.

After he finished school Adam agreed to come to Monmouth before he had to set out for his job at the garage. Gansey hadn’t stopped talking about a report professor Malory had sent him for the entire day. It dealt with a theory about the energy of the ley-line which had influence on the length and quality of peoples live when these people got in touch with the energy during meditation. Gansey assumed that they could get outcrops about Glendowers magical sleep (as long as this theory was true of course) and some other things that Adam doesn’t quit got, because of his lack of sleep. Once in a while he nodded like he would understand, but couldn’t stop thinking about his bed at St. Agnes and a few hours, minutes or even seconds of sleep. Cabeswater sent him the soft murmur of wind and foliage which made Adam even sleepier.  
Ronan skipped school as usual. He didn’t even showed up for Latin which made Adam nervous, but Gansey promised him Ronan was okay. They talked at the morning for a short period of time which meant he wasn’t laying dead on the sideway of a road or beaten up Declan while being drunk. Gansey also mentioned Ronan’s strange behavior, but Ronan was acting mostly strange lately so Gansey decided to give him some space.  
When they arrived at Monmouth Gansey was still talking about that report without noticing Adam wasn’t listening anymore. From Ronan’s room they could hear a loud Kerah! which probably belonged to Chainsaw and then whispered words which must have come from Ronan, but obviously weren’t directed to Chainsaw. After the door crashed behind Adam and Gansey, Ronan’s voice immediately stopped talking.  
Adam looked at Gansey questioning. “Is Noah here?”  
“Who knows that?” Gansey replied, shrugging, “Maybe they are playing a game again which is ending with Noah getting thrown out of the window.” He obviously couldn’t forget that incident.  
Ronan’s door swung open. He looked a little paler than usual and even more worried. Gansey doesn’t seem to notice or he just ignored it. Adam on the other hand lifted his eyebrow questioning.  
“You’re already back?” Ronan asked deliberate uninterested.  
“You’re funny.” Gansey laughed derogatory, “Other than you we were at school the entire day. You said you would come too. Where were you?”  
Ronan shrugged with his shoulders. “Had to do something.”  
“And what?”  
“Trust me, dude, you don’t wanna know.”  
Adam immediately believed him. There were things about Ronan Lynch you didn’t want to know. Adam could have easily given up the knowledge about the night terrors. Like many other things there were in Ronan’s head, that better never saw the light of day, Adam didn’t wanted to know also. He already knows the many ugly things that haunted him.  
After that Ronan disappeared in his room again and turned up the music while Gansey pulled Adam into another talk about ley-lines and unsolved theories.

A call from Monmouth wasn’t uncommon anymore at 300 Fox Way. Uncommon was the time of day (6:57 AM) and the boy at the other end of the line. Orla picked up at first and then handed it to Blue who expected Gansey. Instead she got a rougher, sharper voice like a knife at the other end of the line.  
“Ronan?” she had asked unbelieving when she recognized him.  
“Yes, Sargent, it’s me.” His voice had sounded annoyed and panic-stricken at the same time. “I don’t like to say that, but I need your help. Can you... hide something for a while without questioning?”  
Normally Blue wouldn’t have accepted such a suspicious request. She was too sensible for that. But it was Ronan. And Ronan Lynch was definitely the last person on earth who would have asked for Blue Sargent help. Unless it was an emergency. At least she thought that, because there never was an emergency that would have pushed Ronan to such an act.  
That’s why she had asked him if it would be okay, when she got there after school and before her shift at Nino and Ronan had answered it would be difficult, but possible as long as she came with a car and not with her shitty bike. She had said she wouldn’t get the car and he had answered annoyed that he would drive her back with the BMW. Blue had agreed.  
And that’s why she was at the way to Monmouth Manufacturing hours later to meet Ronan and his mysterious something. Politely she knocked at the door. Noah opened her.  
“Hi.” he greeted her. His smile looked weak, but his body looked surprisingly stabile. Not like he would disappear any moment. Blue allowed him to pat her messy hair before she stepped in and looked around. The lobby was silent and deserted.  
“I sent Gansey somewhere.” Noah explained ominous, “And Adam has to work. Well... at least... partially?”  
Skeptic Blue raised an eyebrow. “What do you mean by partially?”  
Noah opened his mouth to give her an answer, but before he could make a sound Ronan’s door swung open. Ronan looked at her like he wanted to say: “What took you so long?”  
Blue gave him a look like she wanted to say: “Be glad I’m here.”  
Ronan grimaced what probably meant he understand. He made an inviting gesture to his room. It looked like a dangerous gesture of an executioner who leaded his next convicted to the scaffold. “Come in, maggot.” he snarled.  
Even so Blue opposed to get along with this language (after all he was the one asking for help) she stepped in. Ronans room usual was forbidden terrain what made it even more exciting standing inside it. Observant she let her gaze over the black loudspeaker boxes, over Chainsaws cage, over the bird himself, who fluttered exited p at her sight and over Adam, who was sitting cross-legged on Ronan’s bed wearing a too big shirt and starring at her expressionless.  
“I thought you were at work.” Blue said surprised.  
“He is.” Ronan answered embarrassed. He was leaning against his doorframe, his arms crossed before his chest and careful not to look at her eyes. When she looked at him she saw his cheeks blushing, but wasn’t sure if it was of shame or anger. “At least... the real Adam is.” Blues eyes went wide when she realized what he said. “This is... an... an... other Adam.”  
He had noticeable problems to find the right words.  
“You dreamed another Adam?” Blue asked unbelieving, “Why?”  
“Because he couldn’t kiss the real Adam.” Dream-Adam answered still emotionless.  
Blue starred at him. Then she stared at Noah who scratched sheepish at his crashed cheek. Then at Ronan. He apparently could feel her gaze on him, because he turned his head even more away from her. Eventually Blue opened her mouth, ready to explode, but she were only able to bring out a stunned snorting.  
“Now say it, Sargent.” Ronan groaned annoyed and rolled his eyes, still not looking at Blue, “You would love to, right? What an idiot I am and how dare I bring someone out of my dreams just to satisfy my selfish needs and whatever bullshit you thinking off. But I didn’t decided to do it, okay? I can’t always control what I’m dreaming of and I also can’t always control if or what I bring back with me. Sometimes it just happens, okay? Sometimes accidence are happening.”  
“Like me.” Dream-Adam commented. Blue expected it to be an accusation, but he said it so monotone. It was difficult to hear any emotion out of it.  
A little softer Blue looked back at Ronan. He starred at the ground in front of him. His eyes were lowered and his cheeks were blushing.  
“You really didn’t meant to?” she asked calm.  
Ronan shook his head. The movement was easy. If Blue had blinked for a second she would have missed it. Beside him Noah smiled hopeful at Blue.  
Blue took a deep breath. “Okay.” she sighed and then again, “Okay, what are you expecting me to do?”  
“I don’t know! I thought... I...” Tensed he licked over his lips like he were able to speak better then. “He can’t stay here. When Gansey or Adam find him, then... I thought you could hide him at your home for a while.”  
“Hide him.” Dream-Adam repeated contemptuously and now his feelings were pretty obvious.  
“Only until I figured out something better.” Ronan explained loudly and Blue wasn’t sure if his words where meant for her or for the boy on his bed, “This isn’t like the thing with my mom or with Matthew. Adam already exist and I have to think precisely about what to do next and how I explain all of this to Adam or Gansey. And to be honest, there aren’t any beds available in here. Except that of Noah, but who wants to sleep in the bed of a dead person?”  
“Hey!” Noah protested, but he doesn’t sounded offended.  
“But at our house there are enough beds available?” Blue asked shape, “We already are a hotel for homeless. You already dumped Gwenllian at us and now you want to cast off every dream creature of yours too?”  
“I can sleep with Ronan.” Dream-Adam immediately threw in, “His bed is comfortable.”  
He looked a little ashamed when he said this, but Ronan blushed even more until his cheeks were completely red. Instantly he turned away his face to hide his cheeks and pressed his teeth together. It looked like he wanted to give an answer, but couldn’t bring himself to do it.  
Resigned Blue led her shoulders down. “Okay.” she sighed and turned her gaze towards the dreamed boy, “You can sleep at my house, Adam. But if Ronan doesn’t come up with a better plan I will kick his ass.”  
Dream-Adam gave him a soft smile and stood up. At further consideration Blue recognized the T-Shirt and trousers belonged to Ronan and decided not to think about what that meant.  
Noah went ahead to make sure that no one would stumble into the little group. Carefully they walked out to the parking lot and to the BMW like their life would depend on not getting caught.  
“Where exactly is Gansey?” Blue asked while Ronan hold the door to the backseat open for his newest dream creature.  
“Getting Pizza.” answered Noah, “Afoot.” A sly smile got on his pale face. “I’ve stolen the fan belt.”  
“You can’t manipulate the Pig!” she shouted shocked.  
“Adam can fix this later.” Ronan said grim and Dream-Adam leaned casual out of the window.  
“I can.” he confirmed which lead Ronan to grimace even more.  
Exceptionally Blue sat on the passenger seat beside Ronan while Dream-Adam was slipped at the middle of the backseat. Noah didn’t come with them. While they silently drove with a way too high tempo in direction of Fox Way Blue recognized the longing gazes of Dream-Adam towards Ronan. He wasn’t discreet and didn’t even tried to be. Ronan on the other hand hardly tried not to meet his gazes. When they did met Ronan looked quickly down on the road again and tightened his shoulder muscles. Blue suddenly felt like she didn’t belonged there. Eventually Ronan dropped her of at 300 Fox Way, let Dream-Adam out, didn’t responded to his goodbye kiss at his cheek and disappeared. Either to get back to Monmouth or to get himself into trouble. Blue thought both was likely.

Thursday night. It wasn’t a rare occurrence for Ronan to show up and get him back home even if the reason just was discussing their plans for weekend when they still headed out to the Barns to wake the cows. But this time the BMW didn’t came and Adam had reluctantly to admit that he was disappointed. Somewhere between his first visit at the Barns, when Adam had seen Ronan holding the tiny mice in his hands and the moment, when Adam recognized Ronans secret gazes for the first time, had this boy with the dangerous smile, the sharp edges and the dark tattoo became important to Adam. Even more important then Adam had intended to. He never thought about Ronan Lynch, the boy, rather than about Ronan Lynch, the heritage of more money than Adam could even hope for. But Ronan was more than the son of rich parents. He was a dreamer, a coward, a brave warrior who never gave up hope. He was just as afraid as Adam was and had just as many unfulfilled dreams as Adam had. Just as everyone else. Even for him there were things he couldn’t buy with money and when he slept to bring impossibilities out of his head into reality he looked softer, more peaceful. Like a normal, beautiful boy.  
Hastily Adam shook his head when he caught himself at this thought. There were many things he was allowed to think about Ronan, but the word beautiful wasn’t one of them. He didn’t allow himself this much.  
After he finished his work there still was no black BMW in sight, so Adam made his way back to St. Agnes alone with his bicycle. He wondered why Ronan didn’t show up. He wondered if it had something to do with his strange behavior from this afternoon and if he was able to figure out what all of this meant. He wondered if he should ask Gansey or Noah. He wondered if it would help anyway, because Ronan Lynch’s secrets only belonged to Ronan Lynch alone. He wondered if it should bother him at all und when he was finally falling into his bed he wondered if and when he had fallen in love with Ronan Lynch.


	2. Day 2

Day 2

It really was amazing. No matter how long they looked at Dream-Adam, they never saw a different to the original. He had the same dark bags under his eyes which testified too many sleepless nights, the same chapped hands which told from his hard work at the garage and the same unique smell of gasoline and woods. It really was amazing. Ronan had done a good job. Blue couldn’t do anything else then staring at him. Just like Calla. And Maura. And of course Orla. And even Jimi who sometimes scampered through the kitchen and participated in the strange picture which was made of Dream-Adam, sitting at the table, eating yogurt and the women sitting around him and starring at him like he was some kind of extraterrestrial creature. In some way it probably was the truth. Whatever was inside of the head of Ronan Lynch probably hadn’t much in common with the real world.  
After Dream-Adam had finished eating, he out the spoon back on the table and lowered his head. “Thank you for everything.” he murmured hastily and ashamed. He hadn’t intended to take the food in the first place if he wasn’t able to pay it, but he had known that he didn’t had a choice which didn’t meant he wasn’t uncomfortable with it which was the reason why he just had taken a yogurt. Ronan had even dreamt his incorrigibly pride.  
“This boy is just unbelievable.” commented Calla scornfully and popped a hand on the table. Not to loud for the movement to make a real noise, but still impressive enough for Jimi to wince for a second. “Can’t have the real one, so he just dreams a substitute. Just like his father.”  
Blue just had eyes for Dream-Adam who still was wearing Ronan’s shirt. He looked good in Ronan’s clothes. She had to admit that. But Blues head still was spinning around the fact that Ronan really had dreamed about Adam. At the previous day she had been to shocked about the fact of a second Adam looking at her, but now after she thought about it she understood what kind of confession Ronan had made. He was in love with Adam and Blue didn’t even had noticed. He was so desperately in love with him that he even dreamed about him at night and inadvertently brought him back to reality. She had the feeling that something like that shouldn’t fit Ronan’s personality.  
“What exactly is he planning to do with him?” Maura asked finally.  
“He doesn’t know yet.” Blue shrugged, “But he said he’s going to figure it out.”  
“Well, this has to turn out right.” Calla snorted sarcastically.  
The telephone rang. “It’s for you, Blue.” said Orla, because of course it was for Blue. She and the other women stood up and left the room until just Blue and Dream-Adam remained. What a rare illusion of privacy.  
Blue picked up the phone. “Hello?”  
“Hey, it’s me.” The sharp voice was unmistakably.  
“Ah, Ronan.” she greeted him. Immediately Dream-Adam looked up to her. He looked... difficult to describe. Hopeful? “You figured something out?”  
“Working on it. This isn’t a problem that gets solved in one night.” A short break arose in which Blue could hear the boy breathing at the other end of the line. “Is he with you?” Ronan asked eventually.  
“Yeah, he is sitting on my kitchen table right now.” The look of Dream-Adam became even more hopeful. He inhaled visibly what made his shoulders rose a little. “You wanna talk to him?”  
Ronan didn’t answer right away. “No, not now. I want to solve the... problem first. Or at least have a clue what to do next. But good to know he’s still with you. I was afraid he could run away.”  
“Why would you think that?”  
Again he was silent. Then, very lately, he said: “I’m coming after school and give him some new clothes. Make sure Gansey and Adam won’t show up.”  
“Yeah, I thought so.” Blue snorted half offended, “See you later.”  
He hung up without saying anything else, which was in Blue’s opinion very Ronan-like. After she hung up too, she turned around to Dream-Adam and gave him a soft smile.  
“He won’t come, right?” the boy asked and his shoulders sunk down again.  
“He will!” she said immediately and sat down beside Dream-Adam, “This afternoon. After school. He will bring some fresh clothes with him.” Her words didn’t seem to help. His shoulders sunk down even more and his eyes got darker overshadowed by sadness. Blue took his hand and squeezed it lightly. “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”  
Softly he nodded. “In his dreams I’m always in love with him. That’s why I am also now.” Blue thought seeing the gleam of some tears in his eyes, but he swallowed it. Just like the real Adam. “I know I’m just a substitute. He’s not in love with me, but with him. This doesn’t change anything though.” He pulled his hand put of Blues and showed a little scar under his thumb. “This scar also is one of the real Adam’s. Ronan put every one of them on me. He must have observed him carefully. Every day.”  
Extensively Blue studied the scarred spot on his skin. To imagine that Ronan looked so longing on another person, that he remembered every tiny scar on his body was something so unronan-like.

Adam wasn’t stupid. And he definitely wasn’t blind either. He noticed the glances that Ronan gave him, when he thought no one would watching and he also could imagine what it meant. On this day, his glances have seemed to changed or at least the frequencies of it have changed. Adam couldn’t decide if they appeared more often or less though. In some moments he noticed Ronan deliberately not looking at him for a long time and in the next moment Ronan seemed to couldn’t resist than staring at Adam. But there was also something in his eyes that seemed to have changed, which Adam couldn’t quite put his finger on. Sometimes he caught one of Ronan’s glances and even so the other boy looked fast away then, Adam could see something unusual in it. It wasn’t his usual stare he used to record every inch of Adam’s face, but there was something in it, which Adam would call a guilty conscience if he didn’t know, that Ronan didn’t possessed something like a conscience. Or at least Adam always thought that.  
When their common Latin lesson ended Ronan stood up immediately und went of to walk away without even looking at Gansey or Adam.  
“Ronan, wait!” Gansey stopped him, “Where are you going?”  
“Away.” Ronan said shortly.  
“Okay.” It was probably meant to sound like a skeptical question, but Gansey was to caught up in his neutral diplomats voice to ask natural questions. “You’re coming with us to Nino’s later? We all could eat a good pizza for a change.”  
Adam couldn’t help himself than laughing a little scornfully. They nearly ate every third day at Nino’s.  
“Not today.” Ronan answered resistant, but his usual resistant mask flickered a little, “I already have plans.”  
“And what?” Adam asked. He wasn’t sure whether his voice sounded surprised, derogatory or amused.  
One glance of Ronan fell on him. This time not so secret and embarrassed, but openly and aggressive. This was the Ronan Lynch the rest of the world was allowed to see and that Adam hasn’t seen in a while. “Something, that isn’t your business, Parrish.” Then he turned around and walked away.  
Gansey and Adam exchanged a skeptical gaze. It was one of their wordless conversations which ended with Gansey smiling unusual devious and asked: “Want to find it out?”

Tensed Ronan breathed out again and again and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel of his BMW. The way from Aglionby to Fox Way never seemed so long to him and never so exhausting too. When his thoughts went to the boy he’s going to meet there he suddenly didn’t wanted to arrive. His heart was beating too fast.  
Eventually he parked his car on the street in front of the unusual house and stepped in without knocking. He never cared for pleasantries anyway, but in his current situation it also felt appropriate. Blue was already waiting. Bored she was sitting on the creaky stairway, propping her face up on her knees and only looked up when Ronan stood directly in front of her.  
“Were you sitting here the entire day or did anyone foresee my appearance right now again?” he asked rough.  
“Are you really interested in that or do you just want to buy time, because you don’t want to see your newest creation?” she replied coldly. Ronan tried hardly not to react to this, because he knew, she was right. She didn’t pushed him though, but stood up and waved with one hand in the direction of the session room. “Come here.”  
Ronans heart began to beat a little faster. The situation was still hopeless to him. He did thought of many things to resolve all this mess, but nothing of this could have worked out in the end. And especially nothing, that wouldn’t hurt any feelings. In the session room Dream-Adam was sitting on the floor and looked at some tarot cards. Sharply Ronan inhaled the air of the room. He still looked as beautiful as in Ronan’s dreams, as beautiful as he looked in reality. The early afternoon sun made his dusty brown hair glow while his elegant fingers laid around the cards and picking them cautiously up to investigate them with attentive eyes. When he noticed Ronan his tired face lighted up. It was just like his dreams. Adam loved him like he would never do in reality.  
“Ronan.” He said the word with so much tenderness. Ronan, who was still standing in the doorframe, a medium sized bag full of clothes hanging over his shoulders, simply stared at him with a mixture of longing and guilt. “You’re back again.” Dream-Adam stood up and pressed a soft kiss on Ronan’s lips while putting his hands on Ronan’s chest. It took Ronan lot of willpower to not respond to the kiss. He could smell gasoline and leaves. A unique mixture which seemed to scream Adam.  
From far away they were able to hear a knock on the door and Blue said fast: “I’m going.” before she turned around and disappeared in the hallway. She seemed to be relieved to get away from this unfamiliar scene.  
Dream-Adam looked eager up to Ronan. “I missed you.”  
“I know.” Ronan said, because it was true. He dreamed about Adam loving him as much as he loved Adam. So that’s why Dream-Adam loved him as much to feel pain whenever Ronan wasn’t around. The feeling of guilt crept up inside him and this time it was nearly unbearable. He slightly moved his shoulders so his bag slit down to his hand. “I got you something to wear.”   
Dream-Adam took the bag and looked inside of it. With audible disappointment he asked: “You bought something new?”  
“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m not allowed to buy you stuff, you proud idiot, but this time it was necessary.” Ronan protested and turned his face embarrassed to another direction.  
“No, this isn’t it.” Dream-Adam said, “I mean... Yes, normally it would, but it is...” He sighed. “I like your clothes. They smell like you.”  
Ronan felt his blush creping up again and cursed himself for not keeping a better eye on his dreams. He wanted to hear those words from Adam, but not this way.  
Suddenly he heard Gansey’s voice at the hallway. And Adam’s too. And Blue’s, which tried to stop the two boys, but they didn’t seemed to be stopped. Their steps got closer and this time Ronan was sure his heart skipped a beat. Hasty Ronan pushed Dream-Adam deeper inside the room. “Hide.” he hissed and now he could clearly see the hurt inside of the boys face. Again he felt guilty. Then he turned around and crashed right into Gansey at the hallway. Hard he tried to keep his heart calm.  
“Hi.” Gansey greeted him innocent. Adam stood directly behind Gansey and just gave Ronan a suspicious look.  
“What the heck are you two doing here?” he growled at the both boys.  
“What we’re doing here?” Adam repeated. He sounded angry. “You were the one who’s acting strange. We just wanted to know what’s up with you.”  
“And you didn’t come up with the idea to just ask me?”  
“We did.” Gansey insisted.  
Ronan brushed his thumb over his nose, snorted despicable and crossed his arms over his chest. “You didn’t.”  
Unsettled Gansey exchanged a gaze with Adam. Adam just shrugged. “We didn’t.”  
“Okay.” Gansey murmured and turned around to face Ronan again, “Then we just do it right now. What are you hiding in Blue’s session room?”  
“Who’s saying I’m hiding something?” he said hastily and knew he made himself even more suspicious.  
“It is pretty obvious.” Adam shrugged and tried to pass by Ronan, but Ronan stood demonstratively in his way. Adam looked at him with a flaming glance. Ronan responded the glance. When Adam tried again to pass him Ronan jammed him between his shoulders and the wall so Adam nearly got crushed. “Come on, Ronan, that’s ridiculous!” he protested panting and tried to break free, but Ronan was stronger.  
Hurry Gansey run past his other side before Ronan could do something about it and stopped abruptly when he stepped into the session room. Ronan’s breathed got stuck inside his throat. There weren’t that many possibilities in the room to hide. Gansey must have seen him.  
Before Ronan could completely recover Adam broke free and followed Gansey. “Wait!” Ronan called after him and came stumbling to stop when he looked at the dusty face of Dream-Adam, who still was standing in the middle of the room holding the bag in his hands and stared at them in a row. The air suddenly was incredibly thick so Ronan thought he had to suffocate.  
After an endlessly long silence Adam turned to Ronan and asked: “You dreamt of me?”  
Gansey turned around too. “Why did you bring him with you?”  
“It was an accident.” Dream-Adam explained instantly.  
Again Gansey an Adam stared at him while Ronan felt his heart sinking deeper. Then Gansey looked back to Ronan. “So you didn’t wanted to?”  
“I can’t always control it.” Ronan sighed aggressively.  
“Okay.” Gansey murmured again. Insecure he looked at Adam, then Ronan and then Dream-Adam. “What do you want to do with him now? I mean... um...” He obviously had problems with choosing his word to not hurt somebody. I opposed his exaggerated polite way to keep a human out of a conversation that much even though this human was pulled out of a dream.  
“Not yet.” Ronan admitted, “That’s why I didn’t wanted you to know. At least not until I’ve found a solution.”  
“Okay.” Gansey repeated and brushed his thumb over his lower lip. He was quiet for a few seconds like he was thinking. “He needs some fake IDs. Identity card, birth certification, driver license and so on. But not on the name Adam Parrish. That would be noticed. You can dream something like that, right?”  
Ronan shrugged. “I think so.”  
“Okay. Okay, that’s something to begin with. I’m just wondering...” He made a serious, dramatic pose. His face turned dark. “I don’t think it would work if the both stayed in Henrietta. Maybe some day he will stumble upon someone from school and got discovered. I don’t know we can prevent that.”  
The shoulders of Dream-Adam suddenly lifted up. Just some centimeters, but the muscles under his skin were stretched to breaking point. “I won’t leave Ronan.” he blurted out. He sounded convinced. To be separated from Ronan seemed to be worse than the death himself to him.  
The real Adam looked at him, surveyed him with a careful watch. Then his expression changed from searching to understanding. His skin turned pale then his cheeks turned red and his eyebrows moved furiously together. He looked back to Ronan again. His face was difficult to read, but Ronan’s spoke of sheer shame. Adam shook slowly his head like he wanted to say something, but he didn’t said anything at all. Eventually he murmured: “I have to go.” and stormed past Gansey and Ronan outside.  
“Adam, wait!” Gansey called after him. Adam didn’t stop. Hastily he looked at Ronan, but the boy was still standing motionless in the room. “I go look after him.” he explained and disappeared too. Ronan remained. With a heavy sigh he sunk against the wall.  
Dream-Adam took his hand. “I’m sorry.” he murmured. Slowly he lifted Ronan’s fingers against his mouth and kissed them softly. Ronan tried to not react. It was difficult, because Dream-Adam’s lips lay smooth on his skin. “I know, I’m not him.” Dream-Adam whispered and Ronan’s heart got heavy because of guilt, “I know, I’m just a substitute.” Gently he kissed Ronan’s jaw. “But I still don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave you.” This time he kissed Ronan’s cheek, then his lips. Not so gentle anymore, but hard, demanding. Ronan couldn’t hold back anymore. He responded to the kiss, put his hands on Dream-Adams waist, pulled him closer. His body felt warm and light. Dream-Adam slid his fingers over Ronan’s shoulders up to his neck, enclosed his cheeks with his hands and pressed onto Ronan while the kiss turned more intense and passionate. Ronan let his fingers slip through Dream-Adams soft hair. This whole situation still felt like a dream. It was too perfect to be real.  
“Ronan.”  
He pulled away one second too late for Gansey to see all of it. His eyes went wide at the sight of Dream-Adam, who wrapped his arms around Ronan’s neck and pressed his head into his throat while looking at Gansey. Ronan hadn’t enough energy to look ashamed anymore. Resigned he watched his best friend, waiting for a reaction.  
Embarrassed Gansey looked away. “Um... Adam ... doesn’t seem to want to come back. I think he ... needs some space. All this seems to overstrain him. I... um...” Again he looked up to Ronan and Dream-Adam. His cheeks were bright red. “I let you two alone.”  
Then he disappeared. Finally Ronan pulled away from his dream creature and rubbed his closed eyes with his palms. “Shit.” he said between his teeth. He didn’t wanted to see anything, but Dream-Adam took his hands again and kisses his lips fast.  
“I’m sorry.” he whispered.  
Ronan shook his head. “That’s my line.”

It wasn’t really the unexpected appearance of the other boy, who suddenly was standing in Blue’s house what made Adam that angry. It was more his expression and his horror at the thought of leaving Ronan. His feelings were pretty obvious. The other Adam loved Ronan, which meant, that Ronan dreamed of Adam being in love with him. That was, what really made Adam angry. He couldn’t really say why, but it turned him angry and he couldn’t help it.  
“Adam, just wait already!”  
Blue’s voice, but Adam couldn’t care less. He just kept walking.  
“Damn it, Adam!” Her thin hands closed around his wrist und pulled him back. Furious he turned around.  
“What?!” he shouted at her. Instantly he felt guilty, because she didn’t deserve his anger. She seemed to agree, because her eyebrows turned into a sharp line, but she didn’t said anything about it.  
“Where are you going?” she asked instead.  
“I don’t know. Anywhere. At least away of him.”  
“Away of Ronan or of the other Adam?”  
Angry Adam bites his lower lip. “Both.” he replied eventually, “Neither of them. I... I don’t know, damn it! I just couldn’t take it anymore.” He heard his accent slip through, but he didn’t care anymore. He just cared for Dream-Adams expression, which spoke so much of love.  
“What is your problem?” Blue asked him, “Okay, I get that it is difficult to suddenly face his doppelganger, but...”  
“That’s not it.” Adam replied und ran his hands frustrated over his face, “It’s just... It is...”  
Closely Blue watched his face. “What is it, Adam?”  
Deep he inhaled the air. “Shit.” he swore loudly and kicked a mailbox at the side of the street, “If he wished that much for an Adam that loves him, he doesn’t need to dream someone up”  
Blues eyes wend wide of surprise. Adam felt the same way. He never spoke it out loud before. He didn’t even have thought it properly. But now that he did it, it felt right. Of course he was in love with Ronan. He couldn’t explain his anger any other way. He couldn’t explain his jealousy any other way.  
“But...” Blue began insecure, “Then... then it is fine. I mean, when he’s in love with you and you are in love with him, then it is fine.”  
“It isn’t even close to fine. It is... It would be fine if Ronan wouldn’t have dreamed this stupid other Adam. But this way... It... God damn it!” Again he kicked the mailbox, but this time it wasn’t with that much vigor. And again he ran his hands through his hair. “Please don’t tell him, okay?” he asked, “Not now. Not with this other Adam around. First I have to... deal with some things.”  
Blue nodded. “Okay.”


	3. Day 3

Day 3

It was way after midnight when Ronan arrived in Cabeswater. He had spend the entire afternoon with listening to loud, metallic music while pretending to think about a solution and at the end he just took the BMW to drive with too much speed over the streets. The way into the magical forest he took unconsciously. He just had realized he had taken the road to Cabeswater when he had seen the first leafy trees and just gone with it. Cabeswater was e dream and it felt like Ronan would belong there. He was the Greywaren and Cabeswater was his kingdom.  
After he walked around the forest for a while he sunk against an old oak, put on his headphones and listened a while to Celtic music. Once in a while he fell asleep, but to his relieve he didn’t brought anything back with him. He never wanted to bring anything back of his dreams.  
When he woke up of his micro sleep again he heard a song that he already heard some hours ago, which meant that his play list repeated itself. Annoyed he took of his headphones and turned of his MP3-Player. On his mobile phone where countless unread messages. All of them were sent by Gansey and most of them just contained the question Are you alright?  
He was everything, but alright. He felt sick when he’s thinking about is current situation and just wanted to punch a wall until he couldn’t think anymore. But the purling leaves of Cabeswater had just the same effect even though they reminded him of Adam. They also reminded him of home. A very comforting home.  
Eventually Ronan heard steps and assumed it would be Gansey’s who lost his patience with the always same messages and instead had decided to go looking for him or at least Noah who always seemed to know where Ronan was. But it was neither Gansey nor Noah, but Adam. Ronan’s heart began to beat faster. It took him a while to realize that this wasn’t the real Adam, but his own made copy of him. The different was pretty difficult to tell, because he got Adam just perfect. The same elegant wrist, the same dusty brown hair, the same blue eyes and the same thin fingers. Even his walk was just as proud and precise as the one of the real Adam. Shit, even every single freckle on his cheeks was there.  
“So here you are.” Dream-Adam said when he stood directly in front of Ronan.  
Ronan couldn’t take it to look at him. He was just too beautiful. Just like his original. “Why are you here?” he asked unintentionally repellent.  
“I worried about you.” he admitted what made Ronan pull up his shoulders with unease, “After all, you have dreamed about me unable to life without you.”  
“I know.” Ronan sighed. He really dreamed about that. In his dreams his wishes were always abundantly clear and in this very real moment he regretted it. The real Adam would never yearn for him so much for him that he got up in the middle of the night and walked through Henrietta to get to Cabeswater by foot. “Who did you know I would be here?”  
“Noah told me.” Dream-Adam explained and sat down next to Ronan.  
“Noah?”  
“He seemed to be worried about you too and he thought I would be the right person to talk to.”  
“Hmm...” Ronan murmured. He was starring straight ahead. To look at Adam would just be too ... exhausting. It made him feel guilty in a way Ronan didn’t want to deal with right now.  
“I’m very sorry because of all this.” Dream-Adam said eventually.  
“You’re apologizing quite often.” Ronan said annoyed, “Did I dream this too?”  
“Who knows?”  
Ronan went quiet for a moment and chewed on his leather bracelets. “It isn’t your fault, you know?” he murmured eventually.  
“The thing between you and Adam still is broken, isn’t it?”  
“I don’t really think there was anything in the first place.”  
“Well, I don’t know.” Dream-Adam sighed softly, “He looked quite ... angry. Like he was jealous or something.”  
“How would you know?”  
There was a sad smile on the face of this pretty boy. “Because I feel the same way of him. It is ridiculous, but I’m jealous, because I know that you actually love him and not me. He looked the same way at me.”  
Ronan made a scornful noise with his mouth. “Really ridiculous.”  
Again they both went silent for a while and just sat at the side of the other. “If I could I would go.” Dream Adam said after some time, “But you dreamed me so I couldn’t leave you without breaking my heart. It is physiological impossible for me to be separated from you. Even just for one night. But ... If I could I would go.”  
Disbelieving Ronan looked at him. “Why?”  
“Because I want you to be happy. That is what it means to be in love. And I know you’re really in love with Adam and I’m just a substitute and... Ah, shit, you know what I mean. Please don’t make me spell it out.”  
Ronan blinked. One time. Two times. Then he exhaled his held breath through his teeth. “Shit, man.”  
“Yeah.” Dream-Adam agreed.  
“Shit, man, I wish... I wish I’ve never dreamed of you. That’s so... shit. I’m sorry, okay?”  
Dream-Adam giggled a little, but it sounded jaundiced. “Since when do you apologize?”  
“Since I’m the one to blame. I didn’t wanted this to happen. I know you’re real. Just as real as he is, as real as my mother is and as Matthew and that’s why... I don’t know what I have to do, but I’m promise you I’ll figure it out, because you deserve it and...”  
“Ronan.” Dream-Adam interrupted him. His voice sounded soft and he laid his hands on Ronan’s face. Lovingly he caressed Ronan’s cheeks with his thumbs. “I already figured it out. Well, at least Noah had an idea.”  
Skeptically Ronan raised his eyebrows. “What idea?”  
“Take me back.” Dream-Adam begged, “In your dreams. Take me back there.”  
Ronan’s eyes went wide. “I can’t do that. I just can bring things out of my dreams, but not take them back. That’s impossible.”  
“Many people also believe that dreams can’t become real.” Dream-Adam contradicted, “And I think it might work here in Cabeswater. Many things work in Cabeswater that didn’t work anywhere else.”  
Insecure Ronan looked down on his hands. “I don’t know...”  
“Ronan. Try it. Please. It is the best solution we came up with. And I really want to go back to you.” Softly he kissed Ronan’s lips. “I want to be a part of you again.”  
Ronan’s heart still felt heavy inside his chest. He didn’t believe it would work, but Dream-Adam was right. If it worked anywhere then inside of Cabeswater. “Fine.” he said. His voice sounded dry and his words just came reluctant to say. “I’ll try it.”  
Again Dream-Adam kissed his nose. “Thanks.” Then he laid his head on Ronan’s chest and entwined his body with his arms. Ronan closed his eyes. He tried to get his raging heart under control (which was pretty difficult while someone like Adam laid on his body) entwined his arms around the body of the boy too and tried to fall asleep. It didn’t took much time until the warmth of his dreams wrapped around him. Cabeswater helped him. When he opened his eyes again he was standing in his dream. He still was holding Dream-Adam inside of his arms. The boy blinked up to him.  
“Did it work?” he asked.  
Ronan swallowed hard. “I think so.” he whispered, “Or I fucked up even more and will bring a third one with me any minute.”  
Dream-Adam laughed bitter and laid his head back on Ronan’s shoulder. “That means a farewell, right?”  
“Yeah.” Ronan whispered. He had to push himself to not sound sad. “I’m sorry. For everything.”  
Under his hand the weight of Dream-Adams body disappeared. Slowly, like he would dissolve piece for piece. Ronan thought this kind of vanishing was to insignificant or simple and in the second he had finished the thought Adam’s body began to glow like the glowworms that flew night above the meadows of the Barns. Quickly Ronan tried to blink away some tears from his corner of his eyes. He felt the weight of Dream-Adam’s head on his shoulder disappear too. “Thanks.” the boy whispered before the rest of his body also vanished and soar up to the sky too. Ronan looked up to see the last sparks floating in the dark. They got up, merged with the stars above Cabeswater and then just disappeared. Like they never even existed. Ronan felt a deep grief. He tried to tell himself that Dream-Adam wasn’t really dead. He still existed. He still was a part of his mind, of his dreams. But still ... It just felt like death.  
When Ronan woke up again he didn’t hold anyone inside his arms. Instead they were floating in the air in the same shape that the body of the other boy filled up just moments before. But the boy was away. And Ronan was alone.  
He wiped away a single tear from his cheek.

Why exactly Adam took the way to Cabeswater wasn’t easy to say even by him, but when he saw the black BMW he knew he had made the right decision. He parked the Hondayota directly next to Ronan’s car and leaned back for a moment. The sun just rose behind the mountains of Henrietta. Actually it was way too early to concern oneself with a magical doppelganger, which originated from dreams and he also would have a shift at the garage later for what he wanted to be rested. But... It was difficult to simply stay in bed when Noah spontaneously appeared in his apartment and asked for his help. Not for himself, but for Ronan. At least then Adam had to get up.  
He stayed in his seat. Just one moment longer he stayes there with his eyes closed and breathed the air of Cabeswater. Even outside of the forest it smelled like moss and autumn and magic.  
“You want to stay here any longer?” Noah asked who suddenly appeared in the passenger seat.  
Adam’s heart jumped a little, because of this unexpected appearance. “God damn it, Noah! Don’t scare me like that.” He pressed one hand onto his racing heart. He should have got used to that by now.  
“Sorry.” Noah murmured half-hearted and looked into the forest, “You’re going to see him or not?”  
“I’m going. In a sec. I ... I just need a moment, okay?”  
“Okay?” Noah said.  
Adam laid his head on his steering wheel of his shabby car. Again he closed his eyes. Emotions were floating through him. The memory of the other Adam and of his face that looked so eager to Ronan still was too real. “What if he’s with him?”  
Noah just blinked shortly over to Adam and then continued staring at the forest like he was looking for something hidden by the trees. Maybe he did see it, but it was something only ghosts could see.  
“If everything went fine, he won’t.” Noah said simply.  
Adam looked up. Questioning. “What do you mean?” But Noah already vanished to the place he always got too when he wasn’t be seen anymore. Heavily Adam sighed, exited the car and slammed the door a little bit harder than usual.   
Cabeswater somehow felt darker and heavier when Adam stepped inside, but it was possible, that it was because the foliage swallowed all moonlight. The forest was big. For a moment Adam wondered how he should find Ronan before he remembered that Cabeswater always gave him everything he wanted. He just had to ask.  
“Deduc me ad Greywaren.” he whispered to the trees. He wasn’t bad at talking Latin, but he still hoped that he hadn’t messed up because of nervousness. Cabeswater didn’t answer. At least not with words of any language. It showed him the way trough a vague feeling inside his stomach. A while he walked through familiar ways until the environment changed. He didn’t recognized the trees anymore. He’d never seen them on any of their explorations, but he knew he was on the right way. Eventually he came to a river. The trees had changed into spring. They glommed in a beautiful green color and let some petals rain down on Adam and the river. When he kept walking he found Ronan. He was sitting on a little wooden bridge, which seemed so unfitting inside the untouched beauty of Cabeswater. His head was laying on the central strut, his wrist on the upper strut and his legs dangled down so his feet nearly touched the water. He didn’t seemed to recognize Adam. Not even when Adam sat down next to him.  
One moment he just watched Ronan. The boy seemed to be suffering from e big grief. He didn’t looked back at Adam, but kept staring at the river and the petals that floated in there. Adam wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say or do. Noah just had told him to come. The rest was up to him. And unfortunately Adam wasn’t good at this.  
“He is gone.” Ronan said eventually. He didn’t looked at Adam, but stared down at the water. His voice sounded sad and raw and lost. Lonely. “He’s back inside my head.”  
Surprised Adam looked up at him. “In your head?”  
Ronan nodded. “Or inside my dreams. Depends on how you want to say it. Anyway he’s gone.”  
Slowly Adam breathed out. “That is...” he murmured insecure, “... pretty impresive.”  
“Yeah. Gansey will freak out when he hear it. He probably will force me to dream inside of Cabeswater and take every kind of shit with me for days to watch on the values on his pretty measurement device.” He still sounded rancorous. And sad. Adam wondered if he was mourning for the boy or for the love of the boy. “It just works here, you know?” he eventually added, “And I don’t even know if it would work again. To be honest I don’t wanna know.”  
“Then you shouldn’t tell Gansey.” Adam replied.  
A morbid grin showed up on Ronan’s face. “Yeah. Like we could hide something from him.”  
It went quiet between them. None of the boys said anything. For several minutes (maybe half an hour) they sat next to each other and looked down to the river. Adam tried to think. About the other Adam. About what he meant to Ronan. What Aurora and Matthew meant to him. And Chainsaw. To Ronan dream creatures were just as real as the entire world was real to Adam and the vanishing of Dream-Adam wasn’t really a return, but a stop of existence. And then he thought about the longing gazes of the other Adam. A gaze Ronan obviously did not expect from the real world, but he had to dream it. Lonely.  
Adam took a deep breath of Cabeswater’s magical air. Fuck it. “I know you have a crush on me.” he said cold. He called it so coldly by name like he would call a fact of his history lessons. Ronan’s shoulders tensed a little, but he didn’t look up. Adam was sure to see a little gleam of red on his cheeks and the tip of his ears.  
“Whatever, Parrish.” he hummed sullen, “It’s not like it was hard to tell after I literally pulled your stupid body out of my dreams.”  
“No. I mean... Yeah, sure, after that it was obvious, but... I knew it even before that.”  
Obviously surprised Ronan looked up to him and Adam showed him a small smile. “Your glances were a pretty safe sign too.”  
Jerkily Ronan turned away from him again. He seemed to be angrier than before. “Well, con-fucking-gratulation, Parrish. Sherlock Holmes couldn’t have done a better job.”  
“Would you please shut your sarcasm for a second?”  
“Why? So you can laugh at me?”  
“No one’s laughing at you, Lynch. Damn it, Ronan, sometimes you are so stupid.” Adam swore and brushed some strands of hair away from his forehead. Again he took a deep breath before he continued: “You didn’t have to dream him.”  
Again Ronan looked up. A little more surprised, more confused. He lowered his eyebrows like he wanted to ask a question and didn’t know how to say it.  
“You know I...” Carefully he bit his lower lip. He didn’t know either how to say it. “I like you.” he whispered eventually, “I really like you. Maybe not like the Adam of your dreams... well, not yet, but...”  
He didn’t continue. He couldn’t, because Ronan had taken his chin, pulled his face towards him and kissed him. First just soft, but then Adam responded to the kiss, deepened it, let it become more passionate. Soft Ronan nipped at his bottom lip and Adam could taste his tongue. Just very short. A very brief touch, but very real and Adam would remember it for a long time. Then Ronan pulled back. He looked at Adam and his gaze revealed a little bit of fear that started to grow inside of him. It nearly looked cute how scared he was to be rejected.  
“Sorry.” he murmured immediately. It really was cute. Like he didn’t recognized Adam responding to the kiss.  
“So that’s what you did with me in your dreams.” Adam joked softly, “You’ve practiced.”  
“Fuck off, Parrish.” Ronan replied. Again he turned away, but Adam didn’t believed that he really had hurt him.  
Lightly he smirked. “But you did recognize that I kissed you back, right? Why did you apologize?”  
Ronans cheeks turned even redder and his shoulders tensed a little more. “Fuck off, Parrish.”  
Adam’s smirk became wider. “Don’t think so, Lynch.” he whispered softly, laid his head on Ronan’s shoulder and touched Ronan’s hand with his own. Ronan accepted the touch. Equally soft he took Adam’s hand in his und intertwined their fingers. It was something innocent and childish, but they appreciated it nevertheless more than anything else, because they were childish and because it felt perfect.  
For a while they were sitting there in silence. Adam could feel Ronan’s pulse beat in his throat.  
“I’m sorry because of him.” he whispered eventually.  
“Thanks.” Ronan said, “But it doesn’t have to. It was me who fucked this up.”  
“Anyway.”  
Ronan smiled. Adam was so stubborn that it didn’t make any sense to argue. Softly Ronan’s lips brushed over the dusty brown hair on Adam’s head and a second later the skin underneath it too. His touches were still so brief like Ronan was afraid Adam could get up any moment and walk away. But he wouldn’t. He would never let go of Ronan’s hand anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I've made it. ^^ And I took the uncreativ way to end it, but it was the happiest way. Otherwise I probably would have to kill someone with a night horror and honestly: who would want something like that? :(
> 
> Anyway, I hope you liked it and I didn't messed up the characters too much. ^w^


End file.
